~FREE PDF ♅ Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation ♖ PDF or E-pub free

~FREE PDF ☩ Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation ⚒ We All Want To Get To Yes, But What Happens When The Other Person Keeps Saying No How Can You Negotiate Successfully With A Stubborn Boss, An Irate Customer, Or A Deceitful Coworker In Getting Past No, William Ury Of Harvard Law School S Program On Negotiation Offers A Proven Breakthrough Strategy For Turning Adversaries Into Negotiating Partners You Ll Learn How To Stay In Control Under Pressure Defuse Anger And Hostility Find Out What The Other Side Really Wants Counter Dirty Tricks Use Power To Bring The Other Side Back To The Table Reach Agreements That Satisfies Both Sides NeedsGetting Past No Is The State Of The Art Book On Negotiation For The Twenty First Century It Will Help You Deal With Tough Times, Tough People, And Tough Negotiations You Don T Have To Get Mad Or Get Even Instead, You Can Get What You Want William Ury, co founder of Harvard s program on Negotiation is just as good a writer as he is an academic His experience lies not only within the confines of teaching but has been involved in a number of roles as an advisor, negotiator ranging from corporate mergers to wildcat strikes in a Kentucky coal mine to ethnic wars in the Middle East, the Balkans, and the former Soviet Union.In his book Getting Past No Negotiating in Difficult Situations , William writes about how to negotiate with a customer client person who is unwilling to budge from his stance and proving difficult to negotiate with This book will be useful for people from all professions since everyone negotiates on a daily basis involuntarily, from a mother convincing her child to eat vegetables to a salesperson trying to close a major sale.This book deals with this by breaking down negotiations into 5 stages 1 Don t react Go to the balconyThe author urges us to view any negotiation from a third person s point of view Doing so will remove any sentiments attached with the negotiation and can help us see a better picture Stay focused on your end goal and keep an eye on the prize.2 Disarm them Step to their sideWe need to be unpredictable, which sometimes also means that we have to agree with our opponents in order to get things done This disarms them and makes them less suspicious of your motive.By stepping to their side, you accumulateyeses which gives both of us a feeling of apositive meeting.3 Change the game Don t reject..ReframeBy disagreeing with the prospective client, you are playing against their ego Ask them open ended questions like Why not , what if to carry on with the negotiation.4 Make it easy to say yes Build a golden bridgeTry to understand how the client is benefited by your offer product and work towards it.My most favorite line in this book is Help write your opponent s victory speech This one beautiful sentence summarises the entire book By drafting your opponent s victory speech, everything else will fall into place.5 Make it hard to say noInstead of bringing your opponent to his knees by pressuring him to say yes , it makessense to make it harder to say no In this case, you come out of the negotiation without one lesser friend prospect, with the possibility of a future agreement. This book is way better than the first in the series Getting to Yes I like Ury s prose and his advices are concrete and helpful, it s no wonder this book is considered a negotiation primer Key takeaway Obstacles to cooperative negotiation o your emotional reaction don t strike back, don t give in, don t break off to fight this it s important to recognize the OP s tactic stone wall, attack, trick go around, deflect, expose , know your hot buttons, and take time to reflecto their emotion understand the OP s perspective even paraphrase what they say to demonstrate your understanding, ask them to correct any of your misunderstanding , crate an atmosphere of agreement by using the word yes prefereably use yes, and instead of yes, but , acknowledge their authority competence, make I statements and not you statementso their position don t reject, reframe ask the OP open ended why Why not What if What makes that fair questions in order to clarify their interest, test their opinions and attemot ti dusciver their standards of fairness ask them for what would they do if they were in your position and how they think the issue should be handled o their dissatisfaction remove common obstacles, don t dismiss them as irrational, spend time trying to understand their nned and their reasoning, consider the needs for recognition identity security, ensure that the proposal is consistent with their principles and valueso their power help them see that agreement is in their best interest compare BATNAs, let OP know the consequeces What do you think will happen if we don t agree What do you think I will do What will you do Identify your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement then use that as leverage After asking a question that recived an incomplete or unclear answer, or after presenting an option, be quiet Most people are uncomfortable with silence during tense situations, so probably the OP will speak first and offerinfo Keep in mind that the OP may reject an offer because it wasn t their idea, because they have further interests, because they believe they will lose face by accepting, because they might be feeling rushed to agreement In cases like these, avoid telling the OP what the best solition is or why your proposal is the best, instead invite them to share their ideas, offer multiple choices, use an if then formula, consider having a third party recommend your proposal, ensure that the OP receives credit for resolving the conflict Separate the process of reaching agreement into steps based on various issues and then move issues by issue despite most of what is being said in this book kinda feeling obvious, just reading it and organizing ones thoughts is extremely helpful in fact, just today i finished this book on the train home today i used techniques described in here possibly unknowingly to get 3 adversely positioned colleagues to change their stance on the issue in question by 180 suffice to say i was baffled and quite proud of myself, because not only did i overcome my innate tendency to overreaction the balcony thing really helped me form my arguments today, even tho i did let an exquisite jibe at my adversary through as satisfying as that was, it may have been somewhat unprofessional, even though all the participants took me a lotseriously afterwards , i actually managed to make it almost impossible for the decision to go any other way than mine definitely a five star read, and even if it may be out of sequence and possiblyof the same, i started getting to yes today very useful stuff for anyone who has wondered, like me, why maintaining relationships with certain people are so hard and find it hard to hold back every opportunity to attack them. This was an excellent book on the highlights of making progress in difficult negotiations As I don t need in depth knowledge, this overview was perfect for improving my skills without going deep into a topic I don t need that much information about. Take a May term class, they said Get the most out of your tuition, they said. A good for people who want to understand why people do the random things after sitting on the negotiation table Every tactic has been summarised pretty well but the most important thing is to remember that all your negotiation should be based on principle All this is easy to read and understand but actually perfection will only come, once you start observing these negotiations and start implementing the tactics. Lots of useful information, and I absolutely believe this process works I ve even begun incorporating it into my negotiations at work with some success The reason for the 3 star rating is because while the principles may be timeless, the examples used to illustrate them are very dated, and I just got tired of reading about the Cold War and the Cuban Missile Crisis when I m guessing there may have been one or two successful negotiations in the last 40 years that would prove equally illustrative and muchcurrent Favorite quotes The purpose of negotiation is not always to reach agreement For agreement is only a means to an end, and that end is to satisfy your interests The purpose of negotiation is to explore whether you can satisfy your interests better through an agreement than you could by pursuing your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement BATNA Your BATNA is your walkaway alternative It s your best course of action for satisfying your interests without the other s agreement BATNA is the key to negotiating power Your power depends less on whether you are bigger, stronger,senior, or richer than the other person than on how good your BATNA is If you have a viable alternative, then you have leverage in the negotiation The better your BATNA, thepower you have Identify your BATNA Your BATNA should be your measuring stick for evaluating any potential agreement To identify your BATNA, you should consider three kinds of alternatives First, what can you do all by yourself to pursue your interests Second, what can you do directly to the other side to make them respect your interests Third, how can you bring a third party into the situation to further your interests Once you ve formulated your BATNA, you should ask yourself, Should I negotiate at all Perhaps your BATNA is better than any agreement you could reach with the other person Remember, too, that the negotiation process itself is not free of costs It can take a lot of time and effort, in the course of which your other alternatives may vanish Your decision to negotiate should therefore be a carefully considered one A verbal contract isn t worth the paper it s written on If the other side refuses to come to terms despite all your efforts, it is usually because they believe they can win They believe that their best alternative to negotiation their BATNA is superior to your golden bridge You need to convince them that they are wrong Using power to educate the other side works in tandem with building them a golden bridge The first underscores the costs of no agreement, while the second highlights the benefits of agreement The other side faces a choice between accepting the consequences of no agreement and crossing the bridge Your power to bring the other side to terms comes not from the costs you are able to impose but from the contrast between the consequences of no agreement and the allure of the golden bridge Your job is to keep sharpening the contrast until they realize that the best way to satisfy their interests is to cross the bridge In summary, the five steps of breakthrough negotiation are 1 Go to the Balcony The first step is not to control the other person s behavior It is to control your own When the other person says no or launches an attack, you may be stunned into giving in or counterattacking So suspend your reaction by naming the game Then buy yourself time to think Use the time to reflect about your interests and your BATNA Throughout the negotiation, keep your eyes on the prize Instead of getting mad or getting even, focus on getting what you want Don t react Go to the balcony 2 Step to Their Side Before you can negotiate, you need to create a favorable climate You need to defuse the anger, fear, hostility, and suspicion on the other side They expect you to attack or to resist So do the opposite Listen to them, acknowledge their points, and agree with them wherever you can Acknowledge their authority and competence too Don t argue Step to their side 3 Reframe The next challenge is to change the game When the other side takes a hard line position, you may be tempted to reject it, but this usually only leads them to dig in further Instead direct their attention to the challenge of meeting each side s interests Take whatever they say and reframe it as an attempt to deal with the problem Ask problem solving questions, such as Why is it that you want that or What would you do if you were in my shoes or What if we were to Rather than trying to teach the other side yourself, let the problem be their teacher Reframe their tactics, too, by going around their stone walls, deflecting their attacks, and exposing their tricks Don t reject Reframe 4 Build Them a Golden Bridge At last you re ready to negotiate The other side, however, may stall, not yet convinced of the benefits of agreement You may be tempted to push and insist, but this will probably lead them to harden and resist Instead, do the opposite draw them in the direction you would like them to go Think of yourself as a mediator whose job is to make it easy for them to say yes Involve them in the process, incorporating their ideas Try to identify and satisfy their unmet interests, particularly their basic human needs Help them save face and make the outcome appear as a victory for them Go slow to go fast Don t push Build them a golden bridge 5 Use Power to Educate If the other side still resists and thinks they can win without negotiating, you need to educate them to the contrary You need to make it hard for them to say no You could use threats and force, but these often backfire if you push them into a corner, they will likely lash out, throwing evenresources into the fight against you Instead, educate them about the costs of not agreeing Ask reality testing questions, warn rather than threaten, and demonstrate your BATNA Use it only if necessary, and minimize their resistance by exercising restraint and reassuring them that your goal is mutual satisfaction, not victory Make sure they know the golden bridge is always open Don t escalate Use power to educate. Solid foundation for negotiating.Don t get emotional, don t get caught up in their defensiveness, work with them, make the pie bigger, bridge the gap between the two parties interests, let them save face and be proud of the solutionQuotes Effective negotiators do not just divvy up a fixed pie They first explore how to expand the pie A contest of wills thus quickly becomes a conflict of egos BATNA is the key to negotiating power Your power depends less on whether you are bigger, stronger,senior, or richer than the other person than on how good your BATNA is If you have a viable alternative, they you have leverage in the negotiation The better your BATNA, thepower you have The secret of disarming is surprise To disarm the other side, you need to do the opposite of what they expect If they are stonewalling, they expect you to apply pressure if they are attacking, they expect you to resist So don t pressure don t resist Do the opposite Step to their side It disorients them and opens them up to changing their adversarial posture Stepping to their side means doing three things listening, acknowledging, agreeing Listen to what they have to say Acknowledge their point, their feelings, and their competence and status And agree with them wherever you can In sum, the hurdles you face are the other side s suspicion and hostility, closed ears, and lack of respect Your best strategy is to stop to their side It is harder to be hostile toward someone who hears you out and acknowledges what you say and how you feel It is easier to listen to someone who has listened to you And respect breeds respect Your counterpart can easily answer no to questions prefaced by is, isn t, can or can t So ask a question that cannot be answered by no Your attacker is making two claims first, that your proposal is no good and second, that you are no good You have the power to choose which claim you want to address We often blame our negotiating counterpart s resistance on personality or basic nature, but behind the impasse usually lie some very good reasons Consider the four most common ones not their idea, unmet interests, fear if loosing face, too much too fast You have to jettison three common assumptions that the other side is irrational and cant be satisfied that all they basically want is money and that you can t meet their needs without undermining yours Building a golden bridge involves muchthan making the other side an attractive proposal First, it means involving them in crafting the agreement Second, it means looking beyond their obvious interests, such as money, to address theirintangible needs, such as recognition or autonomy Third, it means helping them save face as they back away from their initial position it means finding a way for them to present the agreement to their constituents as a victory And last, it means going slow to go fast, guiding them step by step across the bridge A threat is an announcement of your intention to inflict pain, injury, or punishment on the other side It is a negative promise A warning, in contrast, is an advance notice of danger A threat comes across as what you will do to them if they do not agree A warning comes across as what will happen if agreement is not reached It allows you to step to the balcony and view your difficult negotiation from a new perspective You break through by going around the other side s resistance, approaching them indirectly, acting contrary to their expectations The theme throughout is to treat your opponent with respect not as an object to be pushed, but as a person to be persuaded Rather than trying to change the other side s thinking by direct pressure, you change the environment in which they make decisions You let them draw their own conclusions and choose for themselves Your goal is not to win over them, but to win them over To accomplish this goal, you need to resist normal human temptations and do the opposite of what you naturally feel like doing You need to suspend your reaction when you feel like striking back, to listen when you feel like talking back, to ask questions when you feel like telling your opponent the answers, to bridge your differences when you feel like pushing for your way, and to educate when you feel like escalating 1 Go to the Balcony The first step is not to control the other person s behavior It is to control your own When the other person says no or launches an attack, you may be stunned into giving in or counterattacking So suspend your reaction by naming the game Then buy yourself time to think Use the time to reflect about your interests and your BATNA Throughout the negotiation, keep your eyes on the prize Instead of getting mad or getting even, focus on getting what you want Don t react Go to the balcony.2 Step to Their Side Before you can negotiate, you need to create a favorable climate You need to defuse the anger, fear, hostility, and suspicion on the other side They expect you to attack or to resist So do the opposite Listen to them, acknowledge their points, and agree with them wherever you can Acknowledge their authority and competence too Don t argue Step to their side.3 Reframe The next challenge is to change the game When the other side takes a hard line position, you may be tempted to reject it, but this usually only leads them to dig in further Instead direct their attention to the challenge of meeting each side s interests Take whatever they say and reframe it as an attempt to deal with the problem Ask problem solving questions, such as Why is it that you want that or What would you do if you were in my shoes or What if we were to Rather than trying to teach the other side yourself, let the problem be their teacher Reframe their tactics, too, by going around their stone walls, deflecting their attacks, and exposing their tricks Don t reject Reframe 4 Build Them a Golden Bridge At last you re ready to negotiate The other side, however, may stall, not yet convinced of the benefits of agreement You may be tempted to push and insist, but this will probably lead them to harden and resist Instead, do the opposite draw them in the direction you would like them to go Think of yourself as a mediator whose job is to make it easy for them to say yes Involve them in the process, incorporating their ideas Try to identify and satisfy their unmet interests, particularly their basic human needs Help them save face and make the outcome appear as a victory for them Go slow to go fast Don t push Build them a golden bridge.5 Use Power to Educate If the other side still resists and thinks they can win without negotiating, you need to educate them to the contrary You need to make it hard for them to say no You could use threats and force, but these often backfire if you push them into a corner, they will likely lash out, throwing evenresources into the fight against you Instead, educate them about the costs of not agreeing Ask reality testing questions, warn rather than threaten, and demonstrate your BATNA Use it only if necessary, and minimize their resistance by exercising restraint and reassuring them that your goal is mutual satisfaction, not victory Make sure then know the golden bridge is always open Don t escalate Use power to educate. Concise, practical book on negotiating Best selling author William Ury has the topic of negotiation down cold Reading this classic book originally released in 1991 is a pleasure and the reasons it became a bestseller are obvious It is clear, concise and eminently readable This book has such wide appeal that getAbstract recommends it to all businesspeople and to anyone who ever needs to negotiate about anything from cops bargaining with hostage takers to consumers pushing for the best car prices Read this book and become a better negotiator.